Feeling anxious about turning 30?
How to overcome
the new midlife crisis.
Tell me if this is you. One night, you are up at 12 AM mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. With each post you scroll by, you start to notice a pattern. You see friends and old acquaintances announcing their engagements, posting photos of their newborn babies, going out to dinner to celebrate their latest promotion and – just to rub it in – posts about their latest trip to Tobago. Meanwhile, you look up from your phone at your empty apartment, and while noticing the strewn of clothes laid out all over the floor, you see the calendar held together by magnets on your refrigerator. You then remember that in a week’s time you will be turning 30. At this point you begin to wonder, “what am I doing with my life?”
If this is you, - and you suddenly feel anxious again just by reading this all too familiar scenario- trust me when I say you are not alone. According to BBC News1 when 2000 adults were surveyed, the majority felt the loneliest and most depressed around the age of 35-44. It appears that the traditional mid-life crisis that would typically happen in the late 40s or early 50s, is happening much earlier.
As for why this is the case, one culprit we can point to is the internet. Social Media tends to show us the illusion that there are far more successful and thriving twenty-somethings out there than there really are. In fact, according to a leading UK training provider2 up to 84% of 16-24 year olds have no idea how to turn their passions and interests into a long sustainable career. CDC data released in 20193 showed that up to 21% of young adults aged 18-29 had experienced mild depressive symptoms. In 2021 Statista4 showed that young adults between the ages of 18-24 were the highest percentage of the US population living in poverty, with 21.55% being female and 16.49% being male.
In conclusion, despite what we may see on social media, the full picture isn’t always clear and there is no rhyme or reason to compare ourselves to anyone’s alleged happiness depicted online. After all, adulting is not easy and there is no rulebook. Anyone that has ever experienced the misfortune of lack of guidance and poor support in early childhood / late adolescence will tell you that, not everyone develops and matures at the same pace. For some it may take time to figure out what direction or path to take, and sometimes it just takes understanding what we’re truly interested in. We’ve been fed a lie our entire life that money and success mean everything, and that the best time to achieve those goals are in our 20s. The reality? There are plenty of examples out there of those who had achieved success well beyond their 20’s. Colonel Sander started KFC at age 65, Betty White grained mainstream traction at the age of 51 on the show “The Mary Tyler Moore" , and Samuel L. Jackson only achieved fame at 41 when he landed a role in Spike Lee’s film “Do the right thing”.
In other words, there is no time limit for success. Everyone and anyone can achieve greatness and fulfillment at any given age. The trick is to simply find what you are passionate about and work on it at your own pace. If you stay on your path on focusing on yourself, fulfillment will come.
Footnotes
1. Mid-life crisis begins in mid-30s, Relate survey says - BBC News
2. Eighty-four Percent Of Young People Not Pursuing Their Passions - What Career Live
3. What Age Group Is Most Affected by Depression? (brainsway.com)
4. Poverty rate by age and gender U.S. 2021 | Statista